so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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