shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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