well you can't waste a boner
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
