Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
