WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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