just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The adults are the big ones right?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
