i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so much tequila, so little girl.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
