What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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