You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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