i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
