Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize