2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Soap is not a condiment
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
