Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
