you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
