end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Randomize
