just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
this beer tastes like vomit already
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
