I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just crazy horny about you
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.