i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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