dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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