So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize