Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
