I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
