I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
