Tell her she can't have a vagina
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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