I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
