She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
