u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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