:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
two words...techno handjob
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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