Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
