"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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