I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
