there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
