Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
