walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize