I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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