her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
