Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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