I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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