I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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