Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
