If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
