i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
