We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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