Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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