im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
