Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
