This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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