is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
