How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
