I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
