Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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