i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
