It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
