Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You dont lie about slip and slides
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
