that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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