You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
