He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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