How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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