The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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