actually, I'm a sock model
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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