i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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