He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
