The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
