Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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